If Jesus was a poet today…



Jesus was a poet back in the day,
But what if Jesus was a poet today?
What if he bum rushed open mics begging to get on the list?
How fly would his poems be?

He’d have to have a stage name.
Cause for some people Jesus just ain’t good enough.
Something like JC or J-Dub, J-Dawg or J-Unit!!
Wow, if J-Fizzle the thug gospel poet was on stage today,
how many would turn away, leave the night still not impressed?
Still not seeing the light cause they were concentrating on the bad honey
In the short dress, she did look good, though, even got her number that night.
Yea, that guy JC he read…but his poem was just alright.

I mean, I don’t even know how I would introduce the man.
I mean, seriously I wouldn’t want to mess up introducing Jehovah.
Um, ladies and gentleman…um…we have a very, very, very, very
special guest in the house tonight.
He has done so much; I don’t know where to begin.
But, for starters his Father…GOD…invented the world.
He gave his only Begotten son,
and now J- Diggity, the OG member of G-O-D squad
is everywhere.
All you have to do is call.
Matter of fact, He was probably in your bedroom last night,
whispering poems in your ear making sure that you slept alright.
He’s actually here all the time trying to talk to us, sitting right next to us.
However we are too busy and really don’t take the time to hear him.
But. , today not only did he sign the list, but he is gonna be our feature for the night.
Right now he currently is on the Eternity tour touring around the world
saving souls and writing miracles.
He is in New Orleans right now as well on this very stage,
hailing from the Planet of Heaven,
Then someone in the audience yells out “HEAVEEEN!”
Like they are from there or plan to move there.

Please put your hands together for the Prophet, The Son of God,
The HNIC, Head Noble Inspirational Christ, The Holy Master,
The Truth, My good friend and Savior, Mr. Jeeeesssssuuuuuus Christ!

That’s when the crowd would go wild.
And no one would care if he was black or white,
there would be a celebrity in the house,
Whether they believe or not wouldn’t matter,
you know how fake people get. Jesus is famous.
And he was in the flesh right on stage ready to feature at Da’ Poetry Lounge!
Man, Da’ Poetry Lounge be getting the hottest poets!

Someone in the crowd would yell, “Do something from scripture!”
To which Jesus would reply, “Nah, I’m doing some new stuff.
Plus ya’ll already heard that before, you didn’t listen then,
what makes you think you are gonna listen now?
We would hear some ooohs and ahhhs…
then a silence would fall on the audience.

What if Jesus was a poet today?
And instead of selling CD’s, He was slanging Gospel.
He was doing group pieces with the Holy Spirit and the Holy Ghost,
having folks in the audience getting high.
Slamming but three judges only gave him a nine,
talking about he wasn’t hyped enough.

What If I told you Jesus was on this stage tonight?
And that this wasn’t a hypothetical or some metaphorical imagery.
He dropped some knowledge that went past almost all the heads.

What if I told you the devil was here, too?
He did about five pieces, got a standing ovation on two of them!
Got all tens from the judges…and went outside and sold about a million
CDs/DVD’s from his hit show BET UNCUT!
Yea, they both were in the house tonight…
Which one did you see?
THE END

I THINK A LOT ABOUT HAVING A CHILD.
by POETRI

I lay up at night thinking what it would feel like to not be able to sleep cause my baby is crying.
I think about how Juren and I would take turns
getting up and how many times would she take my turn cause I was too sleepy or grumpy or just plain not a good enough dad to go tend to my child.

I think about changing my baby’s diapers
when Juren is not around.
I think about all the stinky little dooky
that might get on my hands.
And I think about me worrying that
I didn’t clean it all up and that
my child will remain stinky until Juren comes home.

I think about taking my baby in the stroller and
showing her off to all who want to see him.
I think about picking her up and playing games
With him all day and night until I fall asleep.
I think about missing her when he can’t hang on anymore
and she is forced to close his eyes. I think about how much I can’t wait until she wakes, so I can play with him again. I think a lot about having a baby.
I kinda want one real bad.

I think about how much I would love this child.
And how I might be the greatest dad in the history of dads!
Yes, I would be SUPER DAD!! (sing theme music) And I would sing theme music every time I came into the scene.
I would be every child’s dream,
playing every game that she would want to play.
The trick to being SUPER DAD is I am such a kid myself,
so everything she would want to do,
I would want to do more.
It would be GREAAAAT!!!
Until she becomes a teenager and she doesn’t want
to watch cartoons with her daddy anymore.
Until my theme music is too young for my grown up baby.
I would try to change my theme to some hip-hop cut,
but the plain truth will be SUPER DAD just won’t be cool anymore.
I will turn into like the corniest dad.
Will I lose my best little friend
when he is to old for me to kiss him on the cheek

or play hide and go seek or just
plain run around the house chasing each other...?
Who will I play with then?
How can I still be SUPER DAD when kryptonite comes?

It is funny that I think about all of this.
It is crazy that I think so far in the future
when right now
there is no foreseeable future
cause Juren is not even pregnant.
Yet, I am up here thinking about how will I COPE
when my child gets too old for me to play with.
I think about having a baby a lot of times.
The good and the bad...I just want the experience.

I want to experience life in all of it’s forms.
I want to take care of life and mold
and shape it into something incredible.
I want to teach life and have it live a better way that I did.

I want children like this world wants change.
I want a little son like the sun
wants to rise every morning.
I want a baby girl like the moon
wants to outshine the stars.
I need this to happen like I need water.
I am thirsting for life, Lord.
And I am not debating or questioning your ability to do it,
or the fact that you are gonna do it…I know you are.
When? That is my question. WHEN?!

The internet says that I should wear boxers!!
Like the internet knows everything,
more than you, right Lord?
But it says that my testicles need to breath more.
Something about underwear
and especially the tight underwear
that I wear makes my down there sweat and get all hot.
And that it needs more air to release the good
stuff.
I’m trying to release the good stuff, Lord!
To think that all this time,
I could have been messing up my chances
because I have tight underwear on.

Is it something as small as that? I will wear boxers, then.
I will go to the ROSS and buy up all the boxers
they have in my size.
I will be known as the boxer king.
I will even take up boxing.
I will practice day and night.
to become the best prize fighter
this world has ever seen.
My top prize won’t be a crown or a belt,
no they can keep that!!!
My prize will be a bouncing baby.

And after I win…I will retire from the ring.
Undefeated…
… still holding on to my golden prize.

If I need Boxers then just let me know, Lord.
I can get boxers.
Cause all I want is a child.
I will work hard to be the best daddy that I can be.
Even after I lose my powers when they get older.
I will strive to be the best normal dad in the universe.
I think about having a baby all the time.
I lay up at night thinking
when will you bless us with
the greatest prize I could win…
Life.

 

Back to Poems